Would your dark yesterday dim today's candle?

You can play small to fit in, or you can be your beautiful, amazing self. But you can’t be both. – Elle Sommer

Here is an excerpt from my book, ‘Break Free Heal Wounds,’ where I talk about “As Long as I am Living, I am Growing.” God has shown me so much in the time I was alone and seeking His presence. While undergoing my self-growth, I was able to discover more of myself. It has been quite a process, and still is. If I am living, I am growing. I am today in a new state, in a unique position, and living my best life. These great things have all been happening to me so fast, and I am excited about my new journey in my life. Life got real for me, and I had to focus—rethink—on how I wanted to handle myself. That is when I realized we only have one life to live; so, why not build a life worth living?

Where are you on this journey of life?

Maybe you have secured your dream job, gotten married, and had several children. On the other hand, maybe you experienced a turbulent life, filled with adventure and misfortune. Either way, you are living and growing, or stagnant and dying because we cannot do both. Being stagnant keeps you comfortable without growing. When it comes to nature, nothing that is alive stays stagnant. Plants, vegetables, fruits, trees, they are either growing or they are dying.

After my divorce in 2007, I had to figure out how to continue to raise my two sons, take care of an elderly parent while earning my bachelor’s degree in social work with a 4.0 GPA, and thrive doing it. The divorce's intense pain threatened my children and me with emotional scars that will stay with us forever. On multiple occasions, I have described divorce as having someone close to you die. There is not one single way to explain what divorce feels like to everyone, but for me, I thought it was possible to remain friends for the sake of our children. I quickly discovered it would be an even worse feeling and experience than I could ever imagine. I thought it would be bearable, but the divorce turned out to crush every dream I ever had. What helped me move forward in my life so that I can live and grow and not be stagnant and die was that I vowed to myself that I would be true to me and always strive to look at the positive in my life to become my authentic self. I never thought I would be living and growing while parts of me were dying. Leaving a toxic relationship will still hurt even if you are the one who initiated to leave. Learn to acknowledge and face your feelings. The reason you want to acknowledge your feelings and work through them so you are not stagnant in life when you work through them, it allows you to live and feel more confident and freer to continue to live and grow instead of being stagnant and finally dying.

Do not be that person who carries around unnecessary baggage of those long-buried emotions. Learn to release and let go to be your best self and live up to your full potential in this journey we call life. You have one life to live right here and right now, so why not be happy, learn to show yourself compassion, be grateful, and know you are loved! We cannot control all the circumstances that happen to us in this journey of life, but we do have control on how we respond to those things we encounter. I know it is easier said than done, but take that first step and learn how you are showing up to your world and living out your journey of life. Awareness is the key; to become aware is to then become knowledgeable to want to change and make a difference.

This journey we are on called life is a place where we must make decisions. Each day you are making a decision you choose life or death. The scriptures say, “I have put life and death before you, the blessing and the curse; and you must choose life so that you may live, you and your descendants, by loving Jehovah your God, by listening to his voice, and by sticking to him.”​ —Deuteronomy 30:15, 19, 20. Be grateful to live life with the intention to be humble, be thankful, and learn to respect one another. Learn to laugh out loud. Choosing life or death circumstances can only make you or break you; let go and let live. Be the person who lives life on the adventure, trust yourself, and try new things to live and grow rather stagnate and die.

You only live once. Live it responsibly and to the fullest.

Resources to help you to break free from those things that are holding you back and heal to move to turn your passion into pain. “Live on intentions”